Spraaang Drink (lilac)

Fizzy lilac spring alcoholic beverage

(not pictured, actual drink made. ope.)

Prep time: 1-2 weeks, pref start in early/mid May for max fragrencey goodness.

Consumption time: asymptotically approaching 0

Directions

1. Buy 1 bottle of cheapest drinkable vodka. I've been liking Titos or (esp) Reyka. Don't spend much $ on this, but it must be drinkable (sorry popov).
2. Buy some distilled water & sugar.
3. Get a mason jar or three & a lid
4. Pick some lilacs & stuff them in the mason jar. And by "some" I mean "a bunch".
   
   Bonus street cred for lilacs from a graveyard, but follow the campsite rule & leave the space better for you being there.
5. Stuff the mason jars full of the fresh lilacs.
6. In one jar, fill full of vodka. This is the alcohol part (duh).
   
   Put a lid on it.
   
   WAIT 1-2 WEEKS, OR WHATEVER
   
   
7. In another jar, fill full of equal parts sugar & distilled water. This is the fizzy part. The lilacs will react with the distilled water & sugar to make tasty bubbles.
   
   I erred on the side of slightly more water than sugar. It's super important to use distilled water to get the bubbling process right.
   
   Also, lid the stuff.
8. Stir the lilac water 3x a day. They will look a little gross by the end. Grow up & realize that sometimes gross looking things are lovely.
   
   WAIT 3-4 DAYS
   
   
9. Th' drink: 
1. 1 shot lilac vodka, strain out the flowers.
2. half glass with lilac fizzy sugar water, strain out the fleurs.
3. finish glass with soda water. I don't like super sweet drinks for the pounding of the head the next day.
4. Squeeze bit of lemon & garnish with said lemon.
   
   
   

Don't lose your top. Or do, I'm not your mom.

PRETTY!

You can just use the fizzy part for a non-alcoholic drink, if you wish. Again, I'm not your mom, so do what you want.

Rush and Female Engagement: A Scientific Study

 

Kevin Kostrzewa, Noted Data Scientitian

Abstract

The Canadian progressive rock band, Rush, is long considered the consummate “guy’s band”, featured in such media as the film “I Love You, Man”, only enjoyed by men. The goal of this research was to see if this was a fact based observation. I test the argument  by using survey data in a non-randomized sample of whoever of my friends was bored enough to humor me by answering.

Keywords

Canadian Rock, Toque, Hoser, 9/8 time signature

Methodology

To support this, I created a survey using the so-called free application “Polls for Pages”. The survey had an n of ostensibly 43, but only the first 40 are free, and I’m super cheap, so n=40. 

My data set is self reported females, but people lie like rugs on the Internet, so who knows who answered. I am concerned that one of my answers came from my cat-dog, Milo. But, still, I press on.

Questions range from the mundane (“As an identified female, I like Rush”), to the probing (“As an identified female, I am ambivalent toward Rush”), to the outrageously provocative (“As an identified female, I dislike Rush”). I also included “Other”, for reasons unknown even to me.

This data was collected between 2021-04-16 08:04:16 and 2021-04-17 14:34:40. Learn how to read YYYY-MM-DD formatted dates, sheeple.

Findings

Raw data

As an identified female, I like Rush	9 votes	23.1%
As an identified female, I am ambivalent toward Rush	14 votes	35.9%
As an identified female, I dislike Rush	11 votes	28.2%
Other	5 votes	12.8%

Other 

• While I acknowledge the technical and artistic brilliance of the band Gettys voice slays my eardrums in a bad way and Neil Peart’s political theories are stinky.

• *WOMAN, first of all.  Second, I am Rush-ambivalent.

• As an apparently very male, male, who was once called Smed by a very not male, male, I don’t know that I can offer anything meaningful here, but I will try my best.

• My now husband loves Rush! So I took him to a Rush documentary on our first date. Found their lyrics to be thoughtful and cool and love that there was no line for the ladies restroom at their concerts.

Pie Chart

Bar Chart

Triangle Chart

No such thing exists. Grow up.

Conclusions

I have too much free time on my hands. I am also cheap when it comes to seeing a joke through. Finally, I should have considered the free Google forms to begin with, which is a double-duh considering how much I use the Google free applications.

Appendix

The "Lydia"

1. Glass of ice
2. 1 shot St-Germain
3. 1+ tablespoon cardamom simple syrup
4. top off with fizzy lemon water
5. Ignore the butter in the background. You don't want that in your drink.
6. garnish with lemon and the hopes of your ancestors

Called "The Lydia" after my neice, who is, unsurprisingly, named Lydia - her idea for cardamom simple syrup & elderflower as a combination.

Gin Drink With a Thousand Names

1. 1 Unit of Malfy's Blood Orange Gin. Yum.
2. 1-2 Tablespoons of simple syrup, infused with ginger & lemon.
3. Top off with Aldi Belle Vie lemon soda water. Known in the Kostrzewa household as "lemon sad soda"
4. Garnish with an overwhelming sense of optimism.

Crowdsourcing a name to this gin drink resulted in:

1. The Snotty Biotch
2. Ginger Maryanne Gilligan
3. Scurvy no more
4. The Headache
5. The Ron-Draco Ship
6. A Bloody Ginger Rogers
7. Pink Passion
8. Futile Breeze
9. Three Hour Tour
10. Heaven’s Stank 

My recommendation is that, like all things beautiful, it can be both every name and no name simultaneously.

Now, to deal with the fact that COVID-19 has taken all my gin away.

Zoom resources

Available to the public

• Zoom installation
• Zoom meeting setup
• Zoom backgrounds

Labelling as alcohol, because zoom is where I'm meeting friends for drinks during Covid 19.

Drink recipe: Brenda

1. Shot of gin
2. 1 Tbps of rosemary syrup (simple syrup & throw in a big sprig of rosemary. you're welcome).
3. fill the remainder of the glass with equal parts 
1. cheap Aldi Belle Vie Lemon Water 
2. cheap Aldi Burlwood extra dry sparkling
4. Shake, serve over ice, garnish with a dagger

I call it Brenda.  Pairs well with Lays sour cream & onion chips.