Pickled hard eggs

1. Get yer eggs
   
   
2. Boil. I say 8 minutes
   
3. Put in cold bath so they peel easier
   
4. Brine is 3 cups vinegar to 2 cups water, plus 1/4 cup pickling salt.
5. Add some fun stuff to the brine. I used dill, chives, capers, garlic.
6. Let sit for a few days to soak the goodness. Enjoy!

Potatoes-and-kale

"It's easy." "It's good." "It's easy!" "It's good!"

Laides, please - it's BOTH!

Potatoes and kale, two great tastes that taste great together.

Ingredients:

1. oil
2. little potatoes, like fingerling
3. bunch of kale, coarsely chopped, remove stems
4. garlic and/or onions
5. salt, pepper
6. (optional) sour cream

Directions

1. blanche potatoes, should take about 8-10m
2. While blanching, heat up oil to med/low and sauté some coarsely chopped kale. Throw in some garlic and/or onions. Toss around a bit while potatoes are blanching
3. drain blanched potatoes
4. add to kale, sauté some more, mix around a bit. Bump the heat up a bit to get things a little crispy
5. salt & pepper to taste
6. Can serve with some sour cream for extra yum (but not vegan)

I challenge anybody that dumps on kale to try this.

Spraaang Drink (lilac)

Fizzy lilac spring alcoholic beverage

(not pictured, actual drink made. ope.)

Prep time: 1-2 weeks, pref start in early/mid May for max fragrencey goodness.

Consumption time: asymptotically approaching 0

Directions

1. Buy 1 bottle of cheapest drinkable vodka. I've been liking Titos or (esp) Reyka. Don't spend much $ on this, but it must be drinkable (sorry popov).
2. Buy some distilled water & sugar.
3. Get a mason jar or three & a lid
4. Pick some lilacs & stuff them in the mason jar. And by "some" I mean "a bunch".
   
   Bonus street cred for lilacs from a graveyard, but follow the campsite rule & leave the space better for you being there.
5. Stuff the mason jars full of the fresh lilacs.
6. In one jar, fill full of vodka. This is the alcohol part (duh).
   
   Put a lid on it.
   
   WAIT 1-2 WEEKS, OR WHATEVER
   
   
7. In another jar, fill full of equal parts sugar & distilled water. This is the fizzy part. The lilacs will react with the distilled water & sugar to make tasty bubbles.
   
   I erred on the side of slightly more water than sugar. It's super important to use distilled water to get the bubbling process right.
   
   Also, lid the stuff.
8. Stir the lilac water 3x a day. They will look a little gross by the end. Grow up & realize that sometimes gross looking things are lovely.
   
   WAIT 3-4 DAYS
   
   
9. Th' drink: 
1. 1 shot lilac vodka, strain out the flowers.
2. half glass with lilac fizzy sugar water, strain out the fleurs.
3. finish glass with soda water. I don't like super sweet drinks for the pounding of the head the next day.
4. Squeeze bit of lemon & garnish with said lemon.
   
   
   

Don't lose your top. Or do, I'm not your mom.

PRETTY!

You can just use the fizzy part for a non-alcoholic drink, if you wish. Again, I'm not your mom, so do what you want.

Spicy Miso Peanut Chickpeas

A chickepa dish that's good enough to eat without an accompanying starch (rice, naan, whatevs). 

I'd have a picture here, but the 2 times I made it, I ate it fast enough so there wasn't time. I could show you a photo of the dirty pan that I cooked it in, but nobody wants to see that.

Also, it's super fast to cook, maybe about 15m.

Ingredients

1. Oil
2. Grated ginger (can substitue powder)
3. Grated garlic (can substitute powder, but do you really not have garlic in your kitchen?)
4. Miso paste
5. 1 can chickpeas
6. chili paste
7. Coconut or almond milk  
8. Peanut butter
9. Soy sauce
10. Green veg that likes to cook, like bok choi, broccoli or gai lan
11. Salt
12. Lime.

Recipe

1. Cook ginger & garlic in a pan with a little bit of oil over medium until the flavors release, ~ 1 minute.
2. Prep some miso by putting 1 tbsp in a bit (1/4 cup) of hot water. stir it up so it doesn't get clumpy.
3. Add soime drained chickpeas to the pan.
4. Cook them up with the (now liquid) miso.
5. Add some chili paste, to desired heat level (1/2 tsp?)
6. Add 1/2 cup of the coconut / almond milk.
7. Add 1tbsp peanut butter. Smile smugly if it's the natural and organic kind that your kids refuse to eat.
8. Add some soy sauce, maybe 1bsp or so.
9. Stir, bring to boil. Unclump that peanut butter.
10. Add your chopped up green veg. I've been using bok choi with this, but anything that maintains a firmness & a crunch after a boil would be good here. You don't want to overcook this & get it all soggy - it's a texture thing.
11. Cook it all together until your green veg is done and it thickens a bit. 
12. Add some salt.
13. Before your eat, juice half a lime onto your dish - the fresh squeezed lime pairs really well with the peanut, soy & miso flavor.

The "Lydia"

1. Glass of ice
2. 1 shot St-Germain
3. 1+ tablespoon cardamom simple syrup
4. top off with fizzy lemon water
5. Ignore the butter in the background. You don't want that in your drink.
6. garnish with lemon and the hopes of your ancestors

Called "The Lydia" after my neice, who is, unsurprisingly, named Lydia - her idea for cardamom simple syrup & elderflower as a combination.

CBFT

Creme Brulee French Toast

Ingredients

1. 1 stick of butter
2. cup of brown sugar
3. 1 baguette
4. 5 eggs
5. 1.5 cups half & half
6. vanilla
7. amaretto or some other fancy liqueur 
8. salt
9. cinnamon

Directions

1. melt butter, dissolve in brown sugar, pour in baking dish
2. cut crusts off of baguette (this is a PITA but really important. feed the crusts to your chickens)
3. Slice into half inch slices and place over the brown sugar
4. mix 
1. eggs, 
2. half & half, 
3. vanilla, 
4. tsp salt, 
5. .5 tsp cinnamon
6. glug of fancy liqueur
5. pour over bread
6. Cover, let set in a refrigerator overnight
7. Bake 350 35-40m

This is 100% an Easter staple for us. While my wife sets an amazing table with multiple dishes, this is my single paltry contribution, but it is fairly popular. I've gotten a few requests for the recipe, so here it is.

Note: this was largely driven by the allrecipes recipe, although I've done this one enough that I was able to type this one out from memory with my own tweaks.

On the Theory and Practise of Hot Ham Water

At a venerable 50 years old, I attribute my longevity to two main pursuits: Daily-ish workouts in Wu style T'ai Chi Chuan, of which I am a registered disciple, and multi-day consumptions of a concoction that I call "Hot ham water".

Hot ham water is hot, but contains no ham. It's name derives from a single throwawy gag of an episode of Arrested Development. "So watery, yet there's a smack of ham to it!"

Making hot ham water is simple:

Ingredients

1. A teapot
2. Water
3. A knuckle of ginger. Please support your local Asian market by purchasing from them - it'll be much cheaper. Dressing your ginger as a lobster is optional.
   
   
   
   
   
4. A lemon. I care less where this is purchased.
5. A device to heat the water. I use a kettle. Others use other things.
6. (optional) Sweet osmanthus tea. I find the flavor pairings lovely, and I use this when I want an extra caffine boost beyond the 47,000 cups of coffee I drink each day.

Directions

1. Heat water to a boil.
2. Chop a thumb size of ginger into smaller bits.
3. Slice lemon in half, and then quarter it.
4. Ginger, quartered half-lemon, and optional tea goes into the teapot infuser (as a side note, it took me a while to figure out that was called an infuser. I did web search "teapot schematic". While not helpful, it was an interesting rabbit hole).
5. Pour water over the good stuff.
6. Drink in your favorite mug.
   
   

I will make about 4-5 pots of this throughout the day. When the ginger is less gingery, I'll throw the stuff away & start anew.

Special thanks to my many Indian friends & coworkers that extol the virtues of ginger. I often think of this as the "chicken soup" of India - a food that solves most physical and emotional problems. 

Peace to my original hot ham water custom designed mug

that was lost in Kalamazoo's own Lawson Ice arena while distracted by chaperoning a middle school party. I will see you at the crossroads, friend.

Vegetarian curry noodles

One of our daughters is originally from China and she is obsessed with noodles. My wife makes awesome miso kimchi noodles, that is a go-to.

As one of my favorite foods from pre-veg days was Singapore chow mei fun (Singapore style fried rice noodles with curry sauce & meat), I wanted to try to make something similar.

Making this is fairly effortless now, so I don't follow much of a recipe - it's mostly an excuse to "eat down" whatever vegetables are still good, but a little long in the tooth. I'll try to call out the important bits.

I'm also awful with sizing things. Pours are a "bloop", spices are a "blop". You know when you've done wrong.

Ingredients

1. Dry rice noodles & water to cook said noodles. Maybe 2-3 blocks of noodles.
2. Oil
1. canola, vegetable - the cheap stuff - used for frying
2. sesame oil - the expensive stuff - used for final dressing.
3. 2 eggs
4. Spices
1. curry paste or powder
2. cardamom powder
3. salt
4. pepper
5. Chopped Vegetables
1. Ginger (if you don't have ginger, you can substitute with spice powder. I also really like buying tube ginger when I find it. So much easier than mincing ginger).
2. Garlic and/or Onion - your aromatics
3. (Frequently) Mushrooms
4. (I would use, but she's not a fan of) Carrots
5. (ALWAYS) Cabbage, pref nappa. 
6. (Sometimes) Zucchini
7. (Frequently) Bell peppers
8. Other veggies - sure! I've even thrown in some chopped avacado after the cooking is done. Make sure to salt it with a nice chunky salt.
6. Sour liquid
1. I like & use mirin a lot - it's a good, kind of sweet flavor, but sometimes will use cooking sake. Whatever my hand hits first in our "cooking supports" cupboard.

About that cabbage - I fell like cabbage gets such a bad rap, and it's delcious. Stays crunchy on a fry, I love the texture. Cabbage all the things!

Steps

1. Get water boiling for noodles. Don't put your dry noodles in yet - they will cook in about 2m, and you want them slightly not done, so they can finish cooking with the good stuff below.
2. Get your wok on med/high heat with a bloop of frying oil. Let it heat up. If you don't have a wok, a regular pan is fine, as long as it has sides so stirring veggies doesn't make a stove mess.
3. Beat eggs with curry paste/powder, salt and pepper.
4. Cook your eggs, but not completely. Cooking will happen super quick & they should a bit liquidy . Throw them right back in the container you used for beating.   
5. If you need an extra bloop of frying oil, add it here.
6. Add your ginger, garlic / onion
7. Throw a little bit more curry paste / powder & cardamom on. Stir together for about 30s, so they cook but do not burn.
8. Throw in your other chopped veggies. This being a stir fry implies that you will stir, while they fry.
9. Salt & pepper the mix. Cook maybe 2-3m. It's an art, not a science.
10. Remember the boiling water? You're going to want to throw in the noodles here.
11. Add a bloop of the mirin or sake (or whatever sour liquid you pick). Cover the veggies & let them steam in it. 
12. When the noodles are not quite done, pull them out & throw them on the wok & mix with the rest of the stuff.
13. Remember the eggs? Throw them in now too.
14. Stir. Fry, maybe another 2-3m
15. Turn off the heat. dress with a little bit of the expensive sesame oil. Mix. 
16. Salt to taste to get flavors to pop.

Enjoy!

Photos
Ignore the mess. Life is suffering and chaos

stir fry

nappa cabbage!

noodles, quick boil

steam veggies in cooking sake

final mix with egg

Drink recipe: Brenda

1. Shot of gin
2. 1 Tbps of rosemary syrup (simple syrup & throw in a big sprig of rosemary. you're welcome).
3. fill the remainder of the glass with equal parts 
1. cheap Aldi Belle Vie Lemon Water 
2. cheap Aldi Burlwood extra dry sparkling
4. Shake, serve over ice, garnish with a dagger

I call it Brenda.  Pairs well with Lays sour cream & onion chips.

Pasta de Olio and Mushrooms

crazy easy

1. make pasta
2. olive oil glug
3. garlic, pepper, italian spices (bonus points for fresh basil)
4. cook a bit
5. chopped mushrooms, big dollop of butter
6. cook a bit more, throw on some salt
7. small dollop of pesto
8. cook a bit more
9. stir in cooked pasta to lap up all the good bits

Cardamom rice

I am in a Indian cooking mode right now, doing a ton of chana (chickpea) dishes.

This is my current favorite "base", just a simple rice.

Full vegan (but still, no crossfit).

1. Throw a small dollap of coconut oil in a saucepan, medium heat
2. 1 cup Jasmine rice in said saucepan. It's a whole new world
3. 1 tablespoon garlic in there as well.
4. 1 teaspoon ginger. My local schmaldi sold ginger-in-a-tube and I bought all of them. This has been transformative to my cooking, as cutting ginger into appropriate sizes is a PITA to me (but I still do it. Ginger, I can't quit you).
5. Healthy shake of ground cardamom. Maybe someday I use real cardamom pods. One can dream...
6. Some season salt.
7. Stir a bit, Let cook for 2-3 minutes. Burn rice, BURN! (I kind of like the blackened bits when all is said and done).
8. Put in 1.5 cups of water. Stir, so the blackened bits at the bottom are not fully stuck to the pan.
9. Jack up the heat to boil
10. When full rolling boil, turn down the heat to simmer, 1 final stir & cover.
11. Ask Amanda to set a 20 minute rice timer.
12. When done, uncover, stir, enjoy!

This worked really well with my lunch chana masala yesterday. The kinder devoured it as well, with fake Doritos.

Vegan avocado cream sauce

Old joke: If you were a vegan who did crossfit, what would you talk about first?

I'm neither, but found this recipe delicious. The kinder devoured it as well.

1. 1 large avocado
2. tablespoon of garlic
3. tablespoon of basil pesto
4. small handful of cherry tomatoes
5. healthy squirt of lemon juice
6. salt, pepper, Italian seasoning
7. glug of olive oil

Throw in a food processor & puree. Chunks of tomato will be left over. Admire their redness.

Toss over some pasta. Throw some Parmesan cheese on top. 

I haven't tried it yet, but I bet this would be lovely with some toasted pine nuts

or (better yet) saute some asparagus in butter just enough so that it's still crispy, toss pasta over the asparagus and then throw on the creme sauce.

Totally vegan, so +100 points from those who are keeping score.

The best fucking salad on the planet

My current obsession is goat cheese, and my forever obsession is saving money.

With those two forces in play, I picked up a Garlic & Herb goat cheese from Aldi and a few other ingredients (mostly from Aldi, as it's my grocery of choice) to make, what I came to understand as "the best fucking salad on the planet"

The salad is vegetarian, not vegan, and since the goat cheese is the centerpiece of the dish, I'd have a hard time making it vegan.

It has walnuts, so avoid it if you are allergic.

This, as all of my cooking, was completely off the cuff & will likely change over time. Pear + vinaigrette = fundamental win, so that's not going away ever.

What

1. Handful of spinach, chopped
2. Handful of Napa cabbage, chopped (courtesy of Pacific Rim)
3. Radish, chopped matchstick size
4. White onion, chopped. I like fairly long thin chunks in my salad for texture. I blame society.
5. Garbanzo beans, drained (duh) handful
6. Half Bartlett pear, cubed
7.  Chopped Walnuts, handful
8. Flavored croutons, handful
9. 2 Roma tomatoes, thick cubes. 
10. Chunky salt
11. Garlic & herb goat cheese, 1oz. Chunk it up. Use more if you're feeling dangerous.
12. Greek vinaigrette dressing

How

1. Put the stuff together in order of ingredients, above
2. Make sure to salt your tomatoes. They will thank you.
3. Admire the bright red tomatoes. Damn, don't they look good?

View

WIP

                                      

The good stuff